my mother in law (おかあさん）is ruining my marriage.I'm so frustrated with the cold japanese culture. In america fathers LOVE their kids and want to be involved in every detail. That is considered correct. My mother in law however, thinks that my job as father means just making money and staying out of the way. I feel that my mother in law thinks she can do a better job as a father than me. I'm so surprised by what her definition of a father is. SO COLD!! Is there anyone else out there that agrees that a father is just a walking paycheck and the mother should do all the raising? and how is going out and getting drunk every night with co-workers, then stopping in at a love hotel on the way home being a good father?! that's cheating! I don't get japanese culture sometimes.